


Formal

by Kangoo



Series: LGBT Destiny Month 2019 [5]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: (zavala voice) trans rights!, Gen, LGBT Destiny Month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 12:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19109386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kangoo/pseuds/Kangoo
Summary: there's a reason why zavala always looks so formal





	Formal

**Author's Note:**

> dressing up as a way to reaffirm your gender identity is a big trans mood actually

Cayde has been looking at him for a while now. Zavala is starting to get worried. He doesn’t like it when Cayde’s schemes involve _him_.

Cayde hums, deep in thoughts. He’s stroking his chin and slowly, inexorably leaning closer to him. Zavala puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him from falling on top of him and asks, aggravated,

“Can I help you?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in casual clothes.”

Zavala blinks, taken aback. That’s not what he expected. “I… yes? And?”

“That’s weird, is all.” Cayde leans back against the railing, giving him back his personal space. “We’re friends, right?”

“Yes, Cayde, we’re friends.”

He seems to brighten at that. Maybe Zavala should tell him more often… or be a little less hard on him

… No, the former sounds like a safer idea. He shall try to do that then.

“Well, that’s the thing. I’ve seen all my friends in casual clothes. I’ve seen Razel-”

“Who lives with you.”

“I’ve seen Holliday-”

“Who you’ve adopted in almost every way.”

“I’ve seen _Ikora_ ,” he stresses.

“Yes, because you have dinner with her and her wife on a regular basis and she doesn’t wear her armor in her own home. What’s your point?”

“Well now it is that we really don’t spend enough quality time together, big guy.”

Zavala isn’t sure he’d survive Cayde’s idea of ‘quality time’ with his sanity intact, but doesn’t bother saying that.

“Your _original_ point,” he precises.

Cayde claps his hands together. “Right! You need to relax. Wear a sweater. I know you have at _least_ one of them, I saw you knit it.”

He has many more sweaters than the one Cayde is referencing, most of them knitted by himself. It’s a hobby. And after a few centuries they start to pile up.

Still he says, “No.”

The final tone of his refusal makes Cayde draw up short. He tilts his head in confusion. “What? Why?”

“I am the commander of the Vanguard. It is my duty to be an example, a role model – and in this particular case, a standard of professionalism.”

“There’s literally not a single Guardian who would think differently of you for chilling a little with the dress code.”

Zavala thinks about it for a second. As true as it may be, he has to shake his head in denial. “But _I_ would.” And before Cayde can protest again he adds, “Wearing this armor doesn’t only remind me of what I fight for. It reminds me of who I _am_. A Titan. A Vanguard. A _man_.”

He stops short, frowns at his wording. He didn’t mean to let that last part slip, but it’s not… _wrong_. Simply more personal than he intended.

Cayde nods at this like he understands, though. He even seems a bit… touched, if Zavala reads him right. “I get it. I think. But you do know no one would see you as any less of a man either, right?”

He never feels as much like a man as when he’s wearing his armor. Or a suit, but it’s been a very, very long time since he’s had the occasion to wear one. The point stays the same: it feels _good_. It feels _right_. It’s not like his body isn’t a man’s: the first time his Ghost brought him back to life after first making him a Guardian, they made sure to… adjust a few parts, so to speak. There’s nothing differentiating him from any other man save the memory that, for however brief a moment, it was not so. His mind has always been a man’s, but there’s still a nagging part of him saying it’s _not enough_. Even with the body he has, and the absolute certainty that he was, is and will always be a man.

He’s not about to spill all of that to Cayde, though. Not yet. Instead he simply says, “Yes, of course. But I like it.”

“That’s fair. But it wouldn’t kill you to wear a shirt every so often.”

(The next time Cayde sees him, he’s wearing one of his knitted sweater.

“Looking good there,” he calls out. Then, a grin in his voice, he adds while gesturing to his chest, “Show off.”

Deadpan, Zavala replies, “If you have it, flaunt it.” And he worked hard for these pecs, anyway. He deserves to be a little vain about them.

Cayde bursts out laughing.)

**Author's Note:**

> zavala refusing to think about his past is trans culture
> 
> also, on the one hand i know what body parts you have has no bearings on the validity of your gender, but on the other hand i really wish i had a magic robot who would magic away some parts of my anatomy, ya know? and if ghosts can reattach your head to your body they can definitely yeet your breasts from your body too, come on


End file.
